We Hate The World

The Random Thoughts of Two American Males Whose Rants Have Grown Beyond The Timelines Of Facebook.
Never trust a girl with Skrillex hair. Heed my warning and thank me later. -KennyKill

Never trust a girl with Skrillex hair. Heed my warning and thank me later. -KennyKill

STOP wasting money on “Save The Boobies” clothing, and just suck more dick. It’s a lot more effective. You’re welcome. -KennyKill

STOP wasting money on “Save The Boobies” clothing, and just suck more dick. It’s a lot more effective. You’re welcome. -KennyKill

Women vs. Laptops

Wow!!!  I have just realized that my dream girlfriend would need to have all the qualities that my laptop does.  She would have to share similar music interests, be capable of providing help to succeed in any quest I desire to take, and last but no least, she would be able to be taken to any occasion without the desire to fuck one of my friends.  There is an infinite amount of my laptop has helped me achieve without even asking for anything but a little bit more charge on the battery.  Quit the bullshit ladies and act more like my laptop!  I could also compare the fact that when I was so eagerly introduced to my lap top at the Apple store, “She” as in my laptop, operated the same way as it currently does.  We’re talking almost three years and she literally hasn’t asked me for shit while still tackling every job I throw her way.  If your reading this and your a female, I need you to understand that I’m only referring to the types of women I have encountered thus far and if your not a dependent, insecure, lying whore with nothing else to offer me then a nice rack and the wet slit between your legs then please email me at derekmoso@gmail.com!-MikeOSo 

https://twitter.com/#!/DJMikeOSo

Guest Blogger: Agustus ThElefant - Seat Pisser Guy!

Dear guy who pees on the toilet seat. Please wipe the remainder of your urine of the toilet if in fact your too lazy to lift the seat up. I’ve grown tired of cleaning up after you and your attitude sucks. A number of things can happen in these cases.

A. As I run to the bathroom to release after a poor excuse of what grass valley considers Mexican food I plant my explosive bottom end on a saturated, wet, urine stained toilet seat and at that point, unable to move until my expulsion has ended I feel the foreign fluids absorbing into my body…. Gross.
2. I commit to cleaning someone else’s piss up, if that’s even what it is… And pray that I don’t get dysentery. This entire action takes approximately 3 seconds to achieve. 
D. I refuse to clean it up and leave the bathroom at the exact moment a man or woman is entering the laboratory. This further leads to accusations of being a degenerate unsanitary fugitive of urinary engagement…. Not cool seat pisser guy… Not cool-Agustus ThElefant

Another Yoga Pants Submission

 

Thanks Aly and remember to spread the word for us!  We’ll get back to you when the final results are decided upon.  WeHateTheWorld!

Remember Ladies, you can submit your “Yoga Pants Contest” photos to iloathetheworld@gmail.com

Years ago, I was married and my ex-wife and I were pretty open when it came to sex, and all things related. Our marriage was a sham, but our sex life was beyond healthy. I am a perfect example of how great sex can keep a guy around through a terrible relationship. Of course, all shitty things will come to an end, and that I have zero qualms about. I am easily the horniest guy that I know. I am down to slay some pussy, anytime, any where, and I will NEVER turn down sex with my girl. One particular morning, my ex-wife was taking a shower and I woke up, feeling beyond horny. Typical Kenny. Well, I crept into the bathroom and hopped into the shower with the lady. While pretending to wash up, I started in on some standard foreplay. This is always a good way to avoid pissing your girl off; just a trick I learned after being married to the spawn of Satan. After I got the girl worked into the mood, I went for the “bent over in the shower” move. Pretty standard operating procedure for me, but I was in no mood for being “typical.” I was having a stressful week at work, and I needed to take out some aggression. This was definitely an opportunity for anal. The wife and I had done just about everything that you can imagine, in regards to sex, and anal was anything but taboo in this relationship. At first, I tried spitting on her ass, but the water from the shower head, kept washing the spit off. Water is never an acceptable lubricant, so after a bit of fussing with her glory hole, she told me just to squirt some lotion or shower gel onto her ass. Hey, who am I to argue with the lady? I grabbed the nearest bottle, and shot a glob of creamy goo on her ass, took a step back to gauge my aim, and proceeded to bury every inch of my cock, inside of her. Upon reaching full on nut to butt entry, I felt a sharp pain in my dick. I immediately pulled out and began yelling. “WHAT THE FUCK?!” My ex dropped to the floor of the shower and curled into the fetal position. She was screeching in shear pain and I felt a burn on my dick that I just can not describe. I was still gripping on to the bottle that dispensed that product of terror, and as I read the front label of the plastic demon, I couldn’t believe my eyes. ‘Peppermint Foot Scrub.’ FUCK! There had to have been ten bottles of product in my shower, and the one that I pick is fucking foot scrub, with an added holiday burn. It was like jacking off with a 1000 grit wet sand paper, and pouring mouth wash on my dick, afterward. I ripped the shower head from it’s base, and rinsed my cock off the best that I could. The burn lessened, but would not go away. I jumped out of the shower and laid on the bed, doing my best to control my breathing. My ex continued screaming obscenities at me, as she laid in the shower, in pain. My dick was raw and tender for the next few days, and never again will I use anything other than spit or lube, to prep a hole for penetration. -KennyKill

Years ago, I was married and my ex-wife and I were pretty open when it came to sex, and all things related. Our marriage was a sham, but our sex life was beyond healthy. I am a perfect example of how great sex can keep a guy around through a terrible relationship. Of course, all shitty things will come to an end, and that I have zero qualms about.

I am easily the horniest guy that I know. I am down to slay some pussy, anytime, any where, and I will NEVER turn down sex with my girl. One particular morning, my ex-wife was taking a shower and I woke up, feeling beyond horny. Typical Kenny. Well, I crept into the bathroom and hopped into the shower with the lady. While pretending to wash up, I started in on some standard foreplay. This is always a good way to avoid pissing your girl off; just a trick I learned after being married to the spawn of Satan. After I got the girl worked into the mood, I went for the “bent over in the shower” move. Pretty standard operating procedure for me, but I was in no mood for being “typical.” I was having a stressful week at work, and I needed to take out some aggression. This was definitely an opportunity for anal. The wife and I had done just about everything that you can imagine, in regards to sex, and anal was anything but taboo in this relationship. At first, I tried spitting on her ass, but the water from the shower head, kept washing the spit off. Water is never an acceptable lubricant, so after a bit of fussing with her glory hole, she told me just to squirt some lotion or shower gel onto her ass.

Hey, who am I to argue with the lady? I grabbed the nearest bottle, and shot a glob of creamy goo on her ass, took a step back to gauge my aim, and proceeded to bury every inch of my cock, inside of her. Upon reaching full on nut to butt entry, I felt a sharp pain in my dick. I immediately pulled out and began yelling. “WHAT THE FUCK?!” My ex dropped to the floor of the shower and curled into the fetal position. She was screeching in shear pain and I felt a burn on my dick that I just can not describe. I was still gripping on to the bottle that dispensed that product of terror, and as I read the front label of the plastic demon, I couldn’t believe my eyes. ‘Peppermint Foot Scrub.’ FUCK! There had to have been ten bottles of product in my shower, and the one that I pick is fucking foot scrub, with an added holiday burn. It was like jacking off with a 1000 grit wet sand paper, and pouring mouth wash on my dick, afterward.

I ripped the shower head from it’s base, and rinsed my cock off the best that I could. The burn lessened, but would not go away. I jumped out of the shower and laid on the bed, doing my best to control my breathing. My ex continued screaming obscenities at me, as she laid in the shower, in pain.

My dick was raw and tender for the next few days, and never again will I use anything other than spit or lube, to prep a hole for penetration. -KennyKill

Guest Blogger: Lexi Crump - Facebook Whores

 This one is for all the Facebook whores out there. Nothing makes me more embarrassed to be a female than all of the whiny, and tell all journal-like Facebook status’s.

Listen ladies, if people gave a fuck what happened today at work for you, or how much of a douche bag your boyfriend is, or how much of a bitch your roommate is, they would have asked. I don’t remember signing up for Facebook thinking, “I hope I get a constant flow of nagging fb status’s in my news feed.” No one wants to read about the things that you passive aggressively post. I’m not quite sure when it became socially acceptable to constantly update your every emotion to 850 “friends” but I would like to inform you of the life that everyone has, and encourage you to get one too. Perhaps my biggest issue of all is the status’s that have to do with what an asshole that a boy (or your boyfriend) is, and how you “deserve better.” Here’s the thing…absolutely no one is making you stay with him, and no one wants to see you constantly changing your Facebook relationship status. If you put up with a douche bag, that’s your bad. You have no one to blame but yourself if you picked a guy that fake tans, and has rhinestones on his shirts, than he’s obviously a tool, and you need to dump his ass. This Facebook Roller Coaster of emotion has got to end! For the love of God, either attend a Daddy Issues Anonymous meeting, or do the normal thing and delete your Facebook for a few weeks so that everyone can get back to fb stalking in peace. -Lexi Crump

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